Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sir Isaac Newton's News of the Day:


Wow, a busy day - but nothing I really care about is going on, so a simple recap to today's events: March Madness has officially commenced, Tiger's scheduled return is released, and Jim Calhoun confirmed as coach with extension and more.
  • The Big East has more surprises than going to the doctor after sleeping with the scary girl at the bar (unfortunately, she's only scary when your the DD). 3 of the top 4 seeds fell today (3 Syracuse, 10 Villanova, 16 Pitt), with Cincy playing West Va tonight looking to make it a clean sweep of the top 4 seeds. I firmly believe this is a plan hashed out by the Big East to get more teams in the NCAA tournament.

  • Tiger Woods announced he will be returning to golf, after a successful start to his sexual addiction recovery. In other news, Phil Mickelson has hired a gaggle of hookers to walk the gallery at Augusta, upon Tiger's return.

  • Jim Calhoun has signed a 4 year contract extension with UConn. Calhoun missed much of this season after suffering from medical issues. UConn also decided today that they will only be relevant in basketball until 2009.

  • People from Alabama have never been accused of being the brightest in the SEC, but Anthony Grant's answers to the Kentucky game pop quiz, makes Tim Tebow's Wonderlic score (22/50) look like Issac Newton's Physics exams.

1 comment:

  1. I guess Tebow didn't pray hard enough before taking the test.

    ReplyDelete