Thursday, October 7, 2010

Louisville Fan Survey! Subject: Rick Pitino

Dear Louisville Basketball ticket season holder,

Please fill out this survey that deals with YOUR head basketball coach. Thanks for your time and Go Cards!

1. Did you know that Rick Pitino once coached at arch rival Kentucky and won a national title there? A). Yes B). No C). I choose not to think about that D). I don't follow sports that close, I'm a Louisville fan

2. Did you used to consider Rick Pitino "dirty", a "cheater" and "morally corrupt" while he was at UK? A). Yes B). HELL YES C). Rick Pitino coached at UK? D). I still think he is all of those things

3. Are you disappointed that coach John Calipari is out recruiting Rick Pitino? A). Yes B). No C). I kind of expected it because he out recruited him at Memphis too D). Rick Pitino still recruits? I thought he spent his down time pimping Rally's hamburgers and Porcini's

4. Did you follow coach P's sexual escapade trial? A). I did but I'm not proud of it B). I did and I'm currently writing the script for the made for TV film C). I did but I still support coach D). I didn't because Tom Jurich told me not to and I do whatever he tells me to do

5. You would rather see _______ be the coach other than Pitino: A). Tim Floyd B). Tubby Smith C). The head coach of my sons 8th grade basketball team D). My mailman

6. I think that coach Pitino's coaching skills are __________: A). Still sharp B). Lacking but he's still Pitino C). Terrible D). Worthy of a 15 second date at Porcini's

7. Are you sick of Porcini's jokes? A). Absolutely B). I don't have a sense of humor so I'm not sure what a joke is C). It's better than a Tim Sypher joke D). I told you, Tom Jurich told me not to pay attention to these things

8. I think that Pitino recruiting 3 players that he knew had a chance of not playing in 2010 was _______: A). Worth the gamble B). Completely ignorant C). Worthy of bonehead move of the year D). See answer D to question #3

9. When Rick Pitino says things like "Mike Marra is the best pure three point shooter I have ever seen coming out of high school" and then he is not, I feel: A). Frustrated B). Hey, I have confidence in coaches hyperbole, I mean, statements C). That clown in a straight jacket tattoo Mike Marra has is really redneck and dumb D). You mean Tony Delk wasn't the best three point shooter Pitino ever saw coming out of high school

10. If the Cards do not make the tournament this year: A). Oh well! There is always 2011, oh wait... B). I will sell my season tickets to the YUM! whatchamacallit C). I will become a UK fan D). I will do whatever Tom Jurich tells me to do

11. The gigantic, expensive extension that Jurich gave Pitino was: A) Done to cover his butt B). A great idea C). Dumb, dumb and dumb D). The worst investment since all of those people gave Bernie Madoff their money

Thanks Cards fans! And the answers you give will determine how close to the court you get with your season tickets.


Tom Jurich

The Turtle Neck Knows All and Sees All

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