Charlie Strong invades my office

The straw that broke the UK fans back... enough is enough Charlie... game on.

A letter to coach Strong from my phone:
Hi Charlie, 

Do you mind if I call you that? Great thanks. I mean, I know we've only known each other for what? 8 months. Well, it seems like forever. You swept into town on a Tornado and fairy dust, enchanting the city for all to see. You saved the Cards from doom and gloom with your talk of winning and change. I mean I see you out at dinner, the movies, all over my TV, we are practically family. Thus, us being on a shortened name basis feels natural, if it is inappropriate, my apologies.

Charlie, let me start by saying a few good words: "you inspire me". I appreciate your 5 goals for the Cardinals you listed yesterday during the news conference...thosee five core values you set forth. It's like Louisville's version of the 10 commandments...value ridden, morally sound and abbreviated since the Cards always come up short. Let me recap them for you if you have already forgotten:

1 No lying - commendable. No young man should set fourth with dishonest intentions. In fact I believe you stole this from Moses himself, fitting since you're the Cardinal saviour.

2 No Drugs - as a guy from the south end of Louisville I appreciate this. The lack of demand will hopefully depreciate the supply, thus putting an end to some of the meth labs in the neighborhood.

3 No stealing - This should make my trips back to campus for graduate school much safer. During my undergrad time at U of L, if you saw a football player you ran for fear of not just life or limb, but fear of life, limb and property. At least I don't have to worry about that last one.

4 Treat women with respect - Something I feel other people on campus can and should abide by. Your fellow coaches may want to get the crib notes on this one. Perhaps you can even write the forward for his upcoming book a Dale Carnegie lite, self help book that I believe has a working title of "Everything I ever needed in life I learned in the courtroom."  You know who I mean.

5 No Guns - Well, this one is a little off. I mean come on, it's a government given right to bear arms. Maybe you should change this one to "no killing"... it would have included the major use of guns as well as other weapons Cards might use. Plus, it would fit that Moses theme you were shooting for.
But here's my problem Chuck. I am a Kentucky fan. Yes, I try to be respectful of my alma-mater. I stay on my side of I-64 in Commonwealth Stadium and don't root against UL. But Chuck, try to understand that I do want to be your fan...but you're a Cardinal coach.  Thus, I expect you to uphold your end of the bargain and expect you to stay on your side of the line. I expect you to keep your propaganda to your Red wearing alegent. But today you set fourth on my turf.

You came into my office under the rouse of 'heart health'... and posted your big friendly smile all over (that picture above). It's on every pillar and door on every floor. You come in warming up some of the weaker UK contingent. Sucking them into the state of cheering for 'a good game' versus a big W by the Blue. Well Chuckie, you can take that well-to-do grin back to Papa Johns. I don't appreciate your disrespecting the truce. Like a woman at Porcinis, I feel violated.

Thus, well we shall see what happens in a few weeks when the Cats take over your turf there at Papa John's Cardinal stadium. And I will not hide my intentions...I fully intend on posting up in the Old Cardinal Stadium parking lot and tailgating under the premise of being an obnoxious UK fan rooting on Big Blue to victory. I fully expect to post by smile all around the lot after the game to warm the hearts of the downtrodden Cardinal fans that see your failure in the bowl first hand.

So in closing, Charles, its been real. I send my condolences for your soon to be loss.

Cheers,

Monster Mash