Mexico and South Africa kicked off the World Cup this morning at 9:25 a.m. I started to watch a little bit of it, after all, ESPN has made this thing out to be the Super Bowl, the World Series, the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, and the BCS National Championship all rolled into one.
As I watched a bunch of guys kick a ball around, the majority of the time the ball went out of bounds, I noticed something. There was a constant sound that resembled a continuous buzzing, like a giant bee colony that was just set on fire and all of the bees were panicking. I then came to realize what this awful buzzing was: horns. Thousands of horns blowing nonstop as the guys on the field were doing a whole lot of nothing.
This horn blowing gave me a headache as did the boringness of the game. I couldn't take it. I changed the channel after five minutes. If the World Cup is going to be like this for the entire month that it is on then count me out completely. I could care less what the U.S. does if it is coupled with that awful sound.
Can you imagine walking into your favorite sports bar only to find a bunch of degenerate soccer hooligans wearing American flag top hats, shirtless, faces painted, waving towels and blowing those god-awful horns? You would immediately walk out unless the bar was giving away free shots when a goal is scored. Even then, you would maybe receive one or two shots at best.
I know The World Wide Leader has been shoving this thing down our throats for what seems like an eternity. Yesterday ESPN2 did about 8 hours of World Cup coverage and nobody had even kicked a ball yet. Do we really need 8 hours of soccer coverage? When has the country as a whole paid 8 minutes attention to soccer?
Do the patriotic thing: don't watch it. Don't get caught up in the hype of the goons on TV and the masked fans ready to throw fireworks and bags of blood onto the field if their team loses. Don't get caught up in a game where the fans will actually murder a player if they have a poor game. Don't get caught up in a sport that the rest of the world tells us we should like because they like it. We are America, damn it. We could care less about what the rest of the world likes.
That being said, I really hope we do beat the British. We still owe those suckers for the years of oppression and our national team still needs to show them who the boss is. Who am I kidding? All that doesn't change the fact that soccer is still boring as hell.
As for boring - seriously, watching the Yankees or Red Sox play a 4 hour game where most of the time is spent outside the batters box tinkering with cleats and bat rings... then the final score is 2-1? And yes, most balls are hit FOUL (aka OUT OF BOUNDS).
ReplyDeleteFootball has approximately 22 minutes of actual plays for a 3 hour game as well. Huddles, time outs, and preplay calls... as for noise - I believe the Minn. Vikings have those same horns bud.
Don't get me wrong, I can't be paid to watch MLS- but I can't be paid to watch regular season baseball either.
Luckily this is the World Cup - and not MLS or regular season baseball.