2010 FIFA World Cup: Ghana put-down style Guide - be offensive without being ignorant

Be on GOOOOAL with some Ghana put downs during the round of 16 in FIFA World Cup 2010.

When you're cheering for the Americans this afternoon (2:30PM EST is Kickoff), you can either blow your vuvuzela obnoxiously and insistently or shout hurtful obscenities towards your opponent - SportsThat wants you to make a better offensive statement.


I'm not condoning inappropriate ethnic slurs or other behavior that is known to European soccer, this is American - we are creative when we are insulting. Here are a few insults you can use when staring down your Ghanaian opponents that won't be counter with the "You're ignorant" response:

1) In Ghana, textiles are very important. Kente is a very famous horizontal woven cloth. It's used in various religious and other important occasions. As you find yourself staring at a deficit and a half empty bottle of beer, turn to your obnoxious Ghana fan and say "Sir, your mother can't weave a Kente if her life depended on it. That might as well be a houndstooth." This will surely upset them to the point they leave in tears.

2) A Ghana loss will knock the last team from Africa out of the only World Cup to ever be held in Africa. A drought to surely extend another few decades. Bamaya is a native dance used to remember drought and celebrate the rich times. When the US has a solid 1-0 lead in stoppage time, you may feel free to turn to your rival and ask them "So are you going to start doing the Bamaya dance for their World Cup drought"... point-set-match!

3) The adult literacy rate in Ghana is 65%, that's slightly lower than that of Valley Station in Louisville, KY. When Tim Howard blocks that penalty kick and points to the scoreboard to show the Ghana player his unsuccessful try give that Ghana fan a "SCOREBOARD, oh do you need me to read it to you?"

4) Ghana was a British colony until 1957 when they became the first African sub-Saharan country to gain their independence. After a dominating performance, ask them "how does it feel to now be owned by another former British colony"... SNAP!!!

5) Ghana is known as a leader in the growth of cannabis which is also known as marijuana, weed, grass, etc. So you can add a little spice to that typical put down and say "What are you smoking? ... oh wait, some Ghana ganja!"

BONUS -- Apparently, the Ghana government paid for 1,000 citizens to go to the World Cup and support their team. Well, funds ran out and all of the fans were forced to return home. The National Government is now being criticized to find out where the money came from and people are asking for full disclosure. So simply see if they participated in possibly illegal activities and ask "Show me the MONEY!"