Rick Pitino Sex Survey

In a classic David Vs. Goliath match, who will come out on top? Insert joke here:

I'm on a roll today so why not just go with it? The potential jurors in the Rick Pitino vs. Karen Sypher extortion trial were given a survey that asked many questions, which included views on extramarital affairs and their ties to the University of Louisville. I wasn't able to obtain a copy of the survey because of anti-UK bias at the Courier-Journal and various amounts of red tape. But if I were to imagine the questions I think they would look something like this...

• Do you like Basketball? A). Yes B). No


• Do you think Rick Pitino is a good coach? A).Yes B).No


• Why if you chose A: A). Because he is all we got B).I like being let down on a consistant basis C). I admire his way with the fairer sex D). I want to be him


• Have you ever fantasized about having sex in a public place like Golden Corral, Porcini's, Arby's? A). Yes B).No


• Do you fancy yourself a swinger? You know, a person that owns a lot of robes, oils, wears silk underpants that can be seen through white pants on national TV, has sex in random public places and in front of people? A). Yes B). No C). Only on the weekends


• Are you a fan of Louisville athletics? A). Yes B). No


• If you chose "A", please explain yourself as to why you are a Louisville fan and then provide your IQ.


• Do you think forced marriages are acceptable? And when we say forced marriages, we aren't talking about cultural arranged marriages, we mean like, "hey man would you marry this crazy bimbo I knocked up to keep her quiet? I'll raise your salary 50%" kind of forced marriages. A). Yes B).No


• If Rick Pitino had sex with your wife would you: A). Be honored B). Seek out a hit man to take the both of them out C). Immediately get yourself and her tested for AIDS and VD D).Extort Rick Pitino for millions of dollars and then go to the Derby and do the John Wall Dance


• What do you think the score for the Louisville vs. Kentucky basketball game will be in 2010: A). 100-57 Cats B). 100-32 Cats C). 1,000,000-0 Cats


• Do you think infidelity is "cool"? A). Only if she is hot B.) Only if abortion is part of the pregnancy question C).Yes D). Only if it is committed on the floor of a restaurant in front of people.

Feel free to leave your answers in the comments section and I will be sure to notify you if you are a good potential juror. Happy surveying!!!