As many of you may or may not know I absolutely loathe Chris "Boomer" Berman. He has been on ESPN since it's inception in 1979 and has been the host of the popular NFL Sunday Countdown program since 1985. He is best known for his catchphrases, "He could...go...all...the..way!", "WOOOAAAP!", "Rumblin', bumblin', stumblin'" and "BACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACK...GONE!". He is also known for his ridiculous nicknames (Hank "a tisket, a tasket" Basket") for players and the infamous "You're with me Leather" incident.You are probably asking yourself, "Hey Boogiewoogie! Why do you have to be such a hater? This guy seems like he is fun loving and kind of a pimp. What gives?" Well, I'll tell you what gives! This guy adds nothing of substance to the shows that he is a part of. He adds not one shred of insight to the games or the players. He sits there with his bad tan and even worse comb over and spews his verbal diarrhea that is made up of his dumb and tired out phrases and nicknames.
And what is with this guys voice? One minute he speaks normal like you or I would. Then, all of a sudden, he sounds like a constipated version of Estelle Getty.
This guy only works during the NFL season, which is not even half the year. He may call one or two MLB games a season and he does the play by play for the Home Run Derby (which is why I usually skip that All Star spectacle). He reportedly makes $600,000 to $1,000,000 annually. Way overpaid if you ask me. This guy works a total of five full months of the year.
And let us not forget his bad language filled tirade against his crew in NFL Countdown. It ranks up there with Bill O'Reilly (second only to Christian Bale). He is a pompous jackass and a buffoon. I like real analysis from the likes of Mike Ditka, Chris Carter, Jaws, John Gruden, Brian Billick and Phil Simms. These guys have played and coached in the professional ranks. They aren't some hack with a history degree that thinks he is funny and clever.
And where in the hell did the nickname "Boomer" come from anyway? The pansy doesn't play football, he doesn't play baseball or any other sport that I can tell. He is probably one of those guys that gave it to himself to look cool. I can see it now: "Hey, Tom Jackson. I've come up with an idea to make my name sound more like a football player."
"Really, how?"
"Call me Boomer on TV from now on."
"Boomer?"
"Yeah, dips*!t! Boomer!"
"Isn't Boomer Esiesen the only real Boomer?"
"F*** that guy! That clown played for the Jets and Bengals! I'm gettin' paid and gettin' laid!"
So, in closing, Chris Berman blows.
Some other Berman highlights:
ReplyDelete- discussing recommended wines with one of the female ESPN producers
- explaining how to smuggle prescription drugs back from Canada by packing them in the four corners of his suitcase
- refusing to sign an autograph for a fan at the pro bowl (he was too busy drinking and hitting on two blondes in the stands)
Thank you Wayne. I didnt have enough time to add everything that prick has done.
ReplyDeletei will do some research there has to be more dirt on Berman than this
ReplyDeleteRemember, this is a public form - you may want to censor yourself as your kiddies may one day find this...
ReplyDeleteWikipedia has this on Boomer:
-Berman appeared in Adam Sandler's 1998 goofball comedy The Waterboy as well as Sandler's The Longest Yard in 2005 where he played himself as the play-by-play announcer of the prison football game.
-Berman also appeared as himself in Necessary Roughness in 1991, Little Big League in 1994, and Eddie and Kingpin in 1996, as well as the 1995 Hootie and the Blowfish video for the single, "Only Wanna Be With You."
-Berman has cameoed on various episodes of Even Stevens as a SportsCenter anchor.
-Berman appeared in the ESPN Baseball Tonight computer game and videogame.
-During a segment of the "Chase the Cheese" event on an episode of Sesame Street, Berman voiced the sports announcer.
-Berman had a cameo appearance in the MTV animated series Clone High. He, along with Dan Patrick provided commentary for the school's basketball game until he was eaten at the end of the episode by the rival school's mascot.
Sorry about the language. I'll clean that up from now on. Berman i still a jerk.
ReplyDeletewww.funny2.com/berman.htm
ReplyDeletethere is some good reading.
And i cant copy and paste links on here. FML
I din't see the Hank Basket name on there. Did I just make that up myself? I thought I heard him say it a long time ago, but I will take credit for it.
ReplyDelete